Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Disadoption (2008, Montreal)

to tell you, dad
what is my worry
you tell em my adoption
agency is not lying
by the surprising rumor

of two families I belong
by the common sense you order me
to cancel the adoption
it's your solution
to you, i was telling, daddy
mothers
fathers
will be?

Thursday, January 1, 2004

Did You Know (2004, Seoul)

did
you
know
that

i had
to turn
my head
myheart

and my back
to forget
that my life
is to gain

balance between
my past and a
reason to live
a happy life

Sunday, January 4, 1998

Here and there (1998, Seoul)

To have heard so many times
"How well you speak French!"
Over there

To have heard too many times
"Why can't you speak Korean?"
Here

To have never thought about it
The evidence is not written on my face
Over there

A sound, a word and a multitude of ideas
become images in my land
Here

Abstract and unusual ... to multiply
War of words ...to erase
Here we are

The concept is heard
Freedom

Tuesday, December 23, 1997

Adaptable (1997, Seoul)

Leavable       
Because of a father
Irresponsible
A Legal status

Inaccessible
Alone, a mother
In a Confucian
Society

Findable   
Because of my mother
Sensitive enough
To my "future"
A legible note
With anger
Not so sure...
Sorry

Adoptable   
Written on my paper   
might be credible       
mixed race       
for them possible       
anyway better       
than pure race       
my affair   

Adaptable   
Yellow rather       
too visible       
than local color       
in a human jungle       
a war of feelings       
modern Mowgly   

(c) Cho Mihee, Seoul 1997,Dec- B4 Xmaz)

Saturday, January 1, 1994

Say Entity (1994, Seoul)

I am twenty years-old and my name is Mihee
Little, I had moved
I have grown up and I have built my life
I am happy...

I am twenty Five and my name is Nathalie
Adult, I moved again
I have my life and I chose it
I am happy ...

I am thirty and my name is Cho-Shi
Now that I'm staying here
I have chosen, I rebuild my life
I am wondering ...

From these three Identities
Which one will I keep
Which one will remain
Which one will be the truth?

Friday, January 1, 1993

Short Break (1993, Seoul)

Noises are the same
When we don't listen
People are not different
But I like them

Choice is not right
Irony of fate
Smell of death
That I taste

Roofs are not the same
Fields are different
The rice they sow
But I prefer them

Days could be the same
But they are longer
At the rhythm of a cafe-au-lait
I dive in ...

Saturday, August 1, 1992

To Korea, Mother Nation (1993, Seoul)

I would ask you to look at us
We, the adoptees of Korea
    Not with pity
We, adopted overseas
I will ask you
Not to forget that
We have the Han flowing throught our veins
We have the same face as yours
    We have hearts though sometimes in pain
Despite us, we have your genes
I would insist
    Not to forget that
       Even if we see the same moon
Despite the difference, we are bound
I would like Not to forget
   Even for Songsu bridge and Sampoong in the news
Despite the distance, we are bound
At a time when Korea is globalizing
Or rather, wants to open up to the world
    At a time when Korea spends
to glorify its name
At a time when Korea loses itself
    in its social problems

We, the adoptees of Korea
We ask you
We adoptees,
Koreans from the outside
To no longer deny.

Saturday, June 1, 1991

Instead (1991, Brussels)

Instead of having met her
I imagine what could have happened
I make my own movie and
everything seems possible
In the space of reality

My mother, the one from over there
I'll probably never see her
I'll probably never meet her
She's alive in my spirit

Is it enough for me?
It's enough for me to believe
I'll be in the same room
Maybe without knowing
Maybe without her knowing

Tuesday, August 1, 1989

As if everything could be made up (1989, Brussels)

I look at her sitting,
I know she came for me, only for me.
As if this moment could make it all up.

She sits crossing her legs, I waited for her for once.
Shy or uncomfortable, she looks down. 
She asks if she may explain herself. Why not?
As if these five minutes could make it all up.

 She looks up and observes me.
I look down, uncomfortable, even though I am innocent.
I am afraid to betray my emotions.
I want to tell her ... all the accumulated hate.
Maybe she wants to tell me how much she regrets,
how much she didn't want to do it but that she had to.

She talks about anything and nothing.
She surprises me. She's alive, she has lived during all this time.
She stops and murmurs to me that I've changed, she's glad to see me.
As if these words could make it all up...

I smile, I stare at her, to make her look away.
I ask her what she did during all this time.
She hastens to tell me that due to the circumstances, it was the only solution.
She doesn't anwer my question. I listen to her talking. She is lost.
Emotions have overcome her. I look away, towards the window.
As if this could make her feel better...

She tells me that she's married.
She doesn't say if she has children.
I don't try to ask. She asks me what I am doing, if I'm happy.
I answer that it is better without her. She looks at me. I feel pity.
As if that could make it all up.   

Sunday, August 1, 1982

Question (1982, Brussels)

If things were composedHere and there
From made up memories
It wouldn't matter
to you, maybe
But it does to me

How to really know
Really know       
Who can tell me
Or contradict me
That this past, only mine
Is made by my doubts
And misconceptions

I lost my past
I buried it
With the bad idea
Of a Korean runt

To have lived there
For nothing, the time
To forget those moments
But the question remains

Why?

Thursday, January 1, 1981

Mother Mood (1981, Brussels)

In one week
     You will be there
     Beside me
     Because you love me
I wait, hoping
     That with the passage of time
     Your delay will be a presence
     And then, again absence
A month later
     You will be there
     The promise of a mother
     For my birthday
The month has passed
      No one beside me
      A telegram accepted
      An apology repeated
For my holidays
      Spent without you
      For your silences
      Kept for me

For my anticipation
    And your neglect
    For your kindness
    I promise you